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Don’t joke about this, they said

Ending the year on a low note with tasteless humor 😉

Porn Hub has pledged to plant a new tree for every hundred videos viewed on its site.

Considering the amount of tissue paper I get through, I’m still not sure that’s environmentally sustainable.

I was in the Texas Rose last night, at the bar waiting for a beer, when a butt-ugly, big old heifer came up behind me, and slapped me on the butt. She said, “Hey sexy, how about giving me your number!”

I looked at her and said, “Have you got a pen?”

She said, “I sure do.”

I said, “Well, you better get back into it before the farmer notices you’re missing.”

My dental surgery is on Monday.

What’s worse than having a girlfriend with no tits?

Having no girlfriend and tits.

I was working out at the gym when I spotted a sweet young thing walking in.

I asked the trainer standing next to me, “What machine should I use to impress that young lady over there?”

The trainer looked me over and said, “I would recommend the ATM MACHINE in the lobby.”

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day when the man looked over at his wife and said, “Your butt’s getting huge. I bet it’s bigger than the barbecue.”

With that, he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill. Then he went over to where his wife was working and measured her butt.

“I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!”

The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that night in bed, the husband felt a little frisky. He made some advances toward her, but she completely brushed him off.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

She replied, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?”

I always bring a condom with me when I go out for the night.

Unfortunately, it’s always the same one.

An Iraqi soldier buys a camel, ties it up outside his local bar, and walks inside.

“Nice camel,” says one of his buddies. “Is it male or female?”

“Female,” he replies.

“How can you tell?” asks his friend.

“Well, on the way over here,” the man explains, “I heard this guy yell, ‘Hey, look at the big pussy on that camel!’”

The wife has been missing a week now.

Police said to prepare for the worst.

So, I went back to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.


2 Responses

  1. Thanks for brightening my day with a good laugh Steve.
    Happy New Year.

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