• The President Killed His Wife
  • Counterblow
  • Never Bloodless
  • The Atomic Eagle
  • Sigma Division
  • The Kennedy Secret
  • The Gilded Treachery
  • Histats

The Don’t-Laugh Challenge

Okay, you got me, there’s no challenge at all. This is just an excuse to make you read these jokes. Have fun 🙂

I went up to this fat chic in the pub last night.

“You’re a big lass, aren’t you?” I said.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” she replied looking pissed.

“Salad tastes nice.”

I accidentally sent a picture of my dick to everyone in my address book today.

Not only was it really embarrassing, it cost me a fortune in stamps.

I was seriously drunk the other night. I was sitting at the bar and couldn’t help staring at the only woman seated down from me. I walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped me silly.

I immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

She screamed “Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, disgusting, no good drunk!” then stormed out.

“Funny,” I muttered, “you even sound exactly like her!”

A little boy says to his mother,”Mommy, how come I’m black and you’re white?”

His mother replied,  “Don’t even go there! From what I  remember about that party,   you’re fucking lucky you don’t bark!

An Arab man is having paperwork filled out at the DMV.

“Name?”

“Abu Abdalah Sarafi.”

“Sex?”

“Four times a week!”

“No, no! I mean, man or woman?”

“Man, woman, sometimes camels.”

A worried woman asks her doctor: “Since my husband had a heart attack, can he still has sex?”

“Absolutely, ma’am,” the doctor replied. “But only with you because he must never be too excited.”

I woke up this morning at 8 and could smell something was wrong.

I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!

I panicked. I didn’t know what to do.

Then I remembered McDonald’s serves breakfast until 11:30.

Hallelujah Jesus! I feel I’ve been born again…

…yes my wife’s vagina is that big.

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2 Responses

  1. Ha Ha Steve. Thanks for brightening y day. I almost choked when I read the first one, luckily it was on a chip not a piece of salad.

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