Quick Mini Jokes Ride Again

Winter is getting you down? You’re feeling as cheerful as a blind man at a 3D movie? Here are more of the mini jokes you love so much…

A chicken farmer went to a local bar…. sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, ‘How about that ? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!’

‘What a coincidence’ the farmer says.

‘This is a special day for me ….I am celebrating.’

‘This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating !’ says the woman.

‘What a coincidence !’ says the farmer. As they clinked glasses the farmer asked, ‘What are you celebrating ?’

‘My husband and I have been trying for years to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me that I am finally pregnant !’

‘What a coincidence,’ says the farmer. ‘I’m a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.’

‘That’s great !’ says the woman.

‘How did your chickens become fertile ?’

‘I used a different cock,’ he replied.

The woman smiled and said, ‘What a coincidence!’

Noticing a fat couple kissing, my girlfriend said, “Have you ever been out with a fat girl before?”

“No, you’re the first,” probably wasn’t the best response.

fat joy
Trying to watch football last week, my girlfriend was going on as usual about nothing. Despite ignoring her she nudged me hard in the side.

‘So, which of my friends is your favourite?’ she enquired.

Thinking about them I decided to go for her ugliest, fattest friend to try and win some brownie points.

Anyway…. guess who I’m now having a threesome with tonight.

To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.

On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.

My son asked me why oysters are Aphrodisiacs.

“Not sure son, maybe because they smell like pussies.”

“Ugh, is that what mom’s is like?”

“You tell me,” I replied, “you were the last one near it.”

grumpy cat

Stosh Zelkovitski worked in a Polish pickle factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.

Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.

After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Stosh to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind.

The next day he came home from work very early. His wife, Sacha, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened. Stosh tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.

Sacha gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis. She looked up and said, “I don’t understand. What about the pickle slicer?”

Stosh replied, “I think she got fired, too.”

Just had sex even though I had a headache. Did you hear that, ladies?

Nobody died…


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