Mini Jokes to the rescue!

Y’all need some laughter, I can feel it.

I was flirting with a drunk girl in a club last night, when I slowly ran my hand up her skirt and slipped my index finger into her.

As she started panting, 1 finger became 2, then 2 fingers became 3 and before I knew it she had 4 fingers inside her.

That’s when I looked at my friends and said, “Can you three fuck off?”

I’m not saying my wife’s a fat bitch…

But I’ve had to put an energy-saving bulb in the fridge.

Experimenting wife
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognises the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

I played Chuck Norris at Connect Four. He beat me in three moves.

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Give Chuck Norris a fish and he’ll stab you with it.

The good thing about marriage is that you can have sex at anytime you want.

As long as you are the one with the vagina.

The stockbroker was nervous about being in prison because his cellmate looked like a real thug.

“Don’t worry,” the gruff looking fellow said, “I’m in here for a white collar crime too.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” sighed the stockbroker. “I was sent to prison for fraud and insider trading.”

“Oh nothing fancy like that for me,” grinned the convict. “I just murdered a couple of priests.”

Take that, husband!

After a heavy night of drinking I woke up this morning with a dead girl in my bed.

I thought to myself, “Shit… Where the fuck did she come from???”

Then I saw the coffin & the mud and it all started to make sense.

I got so sick of the trick or treaters at Halloween that I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn’t in.

Fuck the ships. My lighthouse, my rules.


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