• The President Killed His Wife
  • Counterblow
  • Never Bloodless
  • The Atomic Eagle
  • Sigma Division
  • The Kennedy Secret
  • The Gilded Treachery
  • Histats

The last thing they would ever say…

It’s fun to imagine what life would be like in a Seinfeldesque Bizarro World. As such, let’s see:

THE LAST TEN THINGS ANY GUY WOULD EVER SAY:

10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
9. While I’m up, can I get you a beer?
8. I’m absolutely wrong, you must be right.
7. Her tits are too big.
6. Sometimes, I just want to be held.
5. That chick on “Murder She Wrote” gives me a woody.
4. Sure, I would love to wear a condom.
3. We haven’t been to the mall in ages. Let’s go shopping so I can hold your purse.
2. Forget Monday Night Football, let’s watch Murphy Brown.
1. I think we are lost. Maybe I should pull over and ask for directions.

THE LAST TEN THINGS ANY WOMAN WOULD EVER SAY:

10. Could our relationship be more physical? I’m tired of just being friends.
9. Go ahead and leave the seat up, it’s easier for me to douche that way.
8. I think that hairy backs are really sexy.
7. Hey, get a whiff of that one.
6. That T-shirt with the holes in the armpits is just too cute.
5. This diamond is way too big.
4. I won’t even put my lips on that unless I get to swallow.
3. Wow, it really is 14 inches.
2. Does this make my butt look too small?
1. I’m wrong, you must be right again.

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