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Even More Mini Jokes

Considering these are always enjoyed by my visitors, here are some more short jokes to make your secretary laugh out of her short dress. 🙂

You might be a redneck Jedi if …

You prefer the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.”
The doors on your X-Wing are welded shut and you have to climb in through the windows.
You’ve used a light saber to light the barbecue grill.
The disturbance you detected in the Force was last night’s baked beans.

I hope everything is fine with Adele’s pregnancy. Because I really can’t listen to a whole album about a dead baby this winter.

What woman can wash up with her left hand, cook tea with the right, sweep with one leg, dust with the other, give a blow job and open beer with her arse?

A Swiss Army Wife.

The wife left this note on the fridge: “It’s not working!! I can’t take it anymore; I’ve gone to stay at my Mom’s!”

I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was still cold.

What the hell is she talking about?

A guy is driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when he’s pulled over by the police. The police officer approaches him and asks, “Have you been drinking, Sir?”

“No. Why?” replies the man. “Was I all over the road?”

“No,” replies the officer, “You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat bitch in the passenger seat that made me suspicious.”

What’s the difference between a gay man and a freezer? The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted fifty dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”

“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.

“Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?” the man asked.

“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”

“Well,” said the man, “I’m going to give you two hundred dollars. And, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”

The homeless man was astounded. “Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that?

The man replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and golf.”


3 Responses

  1. Fantastic fun, thanks Steve.

  2. I especially love the last one.

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